Finnskogustillingen in Grue Finnskog near the border of Norway and Sweden
9.10.11. March .2018
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There are two pieces of advice gathered in the past 17 years I would like to share here.
This was the advice I was given as I looked over the edge of Viktor Frankl’s, Man’s Search for Meaning, on the Blue Line ride from Randolph Street copywriting job back to my studio apartment on the borderlands of Wicker Park, Bucktown, and Logan Square -Chicago neighbourhoods undergoing their facade lifts and rent spikes. He spoke to me more, and with increasingly detailed explantations about his economic and stock market research. From the smell and looks of things on his side of the train, a bath or sewn closed shoes hadn’t exerted his mind. The intensity at which he conveyed his messaged showed his focus wasn’t on hygiene as much as it were on sorting impending disaster, however real or imagined. I folded my book about finding meaning in my lap to listen, as I had been leaning through a snippets of Nietzsche. I was briefly alleviated from understanding trauma by tuning into his presentation. The man assured me before departing a stops before mine, to learn Mandarin if I wanted to survive the future. 17 years later I would recount this story to friends in a cafe in Norway, pondering life’s choices-filled by the understanding meaning as fully constructed form of social exchange and language a means of navigation through the maritime age of land living.
“Exercise the demons.”
Every night no matter where I have lived, I walk, at night. Everyone I meet, save for a few, tell me how dangerous this is, and how I must be inviting myself to harm. I’ve always found the evening stroll healthy for my mind, and better for my body. Aside from the immediate benefits, I am permitted to witness sage stray animals take off with their bounty, learn the limits and expand the range of my audible sensation, and attune the hair on the back of my hand impulse of whether the dark is safe or not. Looking both ways before crossing is important day or night, and one night I had looked left then right, and began to cross I heard the bell out of the dark, from the left-and a wavy haired man on a bike exclaiming, “You’ve got to exercise those demons.” Indeed, night or day, movement sets our bodies and minds from from all the memories and ideas that trap us in our homes.
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12 Februar 2018. Oslo, Norway
every morning the people woke
not to work but to media repeating
the guilt made motive preyed upon born freedom
the belief for which we must fight
the lie of good exercised as virtue in social servitude
another form of self-flagellation
distrust in motives divided those private demons
vented through palms to public forms
our digital mediums morphing
our bodies into detonation devices
mostly which with two legs and two arms
contains a heart and a breath
the fix made by belief in the problem
a policy of addiction formed
support groups and steps for the self made weak to follow
for we are to rely upon each other
to build a more ideal world
and the people fought and bickered
wasting away all their days
because they believed the capital was to heavy
and values ought be free
the hippies tried escape
and no one made it out sane or unaltered
the eloquence of the universe
believed by some buyable by pill
the beggars and thieves sit mighty
amongst the virtue signals of so called advanced societies
the desires burning the men alive
and their bodies became ashes propelled by design
the motor of desire to rid the feeling of the lack
chasing them up their backs
warm bodies made cold
by the isolation of those
who will ask and ask and ask
always wanting of us more
those who live in peace
resigned to stand firm with the value of life
not flinch at those who cry for more
who beg for more
who will do whatever they can reason
to shake a little bit more out
of them for me
Each day I work to stand a bit more
free from any kind of belief
and exercise fewer postures
unwaveringly designed to signal
the lie that I could know a better way
a better way for what and for whom
what care have I what you put in your guts
or thoughts in your mind
its your life to do with what you so choose
and so let those who go on claiming virtue sing their sirens
and I’ll keep on driving my feet into the soil
each step at a time
9 February 2018. Oslo, Norway