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Farmer’s calendars

Careful and continuous observation over time. This habit and practice is something I have been led to the same practices happening long before the world as I have come to learn it was around. There was always something about the way of charting months and days that never added up-and I mean literally the numbers don’t ever add up without some kind of remainder or extra here or there. Due to facts such as:  the sun and moon produce cycles of notable change every month, cycles in my body produces notable changes, I have been interested in following these patterns, and seeing if there are some ways I can discern any kind of notable differences or similarities. These kind of basic bits, elemental, have always seemed most pressing and relevant to me-for even the idea of “more” I have found often tied to ideas about “getting” and that tends to be a tricky little trap. I’d rather steer around any kind of traps, as the trails are far more inviting than being stuck in some kind of hole (which has often and thankfully been psychological more than real-though real things have a concreteness to them the psychic don’t-but dealings with the mind is for another post).

Farming and farming calendars, popularly called Farmer’s Almanac’s have been scooed-off by some advancements in creating food for people in the world, but these calendars often sync up with subtle sensory changes I have observed over decades of observing reality, my body, and the connection between the environment and the body. Moreover, observing social behaviours, fluxes and changes in policies, attitudes, values, have followed a trend of media-driven narratives.

The idea the world is driven (ala psychological motor) by stories, is not a new idea either. Yet, these words: new, progress, advancement, efficient -have infiltrated my own bodily system through modes of thought and belief. It might seem strange to think that a calendar or a way of measuring time can be internalised into a bodily system, but I have had this experience over and over. Ideas that are somehow planted in my mind, infiltrate my behaviours and then end up causing a repetitive cycle of tension-the tension arising from an internal conflict-because somehow that idea conflicts with what feels natural to me, otherwise known as what I value. This is why I have always been wary of beliefs. Beliefs have a long history of being tied to business and religions-neither which of these activities am I interested in vilifying-for qualities in and of themselves are neither benevolent or malevolent. There is this saying about following the money, and you can follow a motive…well, I would also caution against accepting any kind of saying or colloquialism without longterm observation over time, also. Bearing these things in mind for a little while, it’s not very radical, my findings, but rather sort of funny-not the funny in the way of laughing, but funny in the way of, what was I all tensed up about because these stories about new, progress, advancement and efficient are based on ideas and ideals about a certain way of being-which become tied to attitudes, lifestyles, one-sided conversations and generally do not work over long periods of time-perhaps why fashions and styles change so frequently-while strongly built objects and architecture, farming and basic health and well being practices don’t change as much over time. Or if they are, I am not alive long enough to experience the differences myself. Anyhow-Certain ways of being and doing things tend to look like shoulds- and people who go around all day telling people what they should or should not be doing, tend to be mired up in making larger moving parts go-whatever those moving parts may be producing: products, capital, business models, ideologies, spectacles.

Whether we are aware of it or not, as anything living, always creates something. Water makes things wet. Yeast makes dough rise. Seasons calibrate and facilitate magnetic forces-or maybe it is the other way around 😉 It’s really far more complex than I can understand right now. But the point is-to take a look at the calendar, the way we are measuring our days, to consider the elemental forces of nature can provide relief for headaches, ease for diseases, fuel (food) and fodder for creating beautiful objects that enhance our human experience, learning environments which develop instead of deplete our bodily systems–and these observations are not new, not esoteric, not even weird or unusual at all. And I do trust that over and over, people will come to discover nature as the way, because whether become involved in making up stories by tagging on the world mother, father or a gender neutral term to nature (mother nature, father time as coming from mythology), we will exist among facts. And these facts of reality, of life, can flatten out an ego, and connect you to the life instead of you-that is already shiny, already creating, already aware, already desiring.

I have also been forgetting what day of the week it is. What time it is sometimes. And my husband had a revolutionary idea-maybe there is nothing wrong with me in that. Maybe it is more natural to not compartmentalise existence by arbitrary means, but rather align life more closely to what nature already has going on. And it feels more harmonious too.


A friend shared this link with me. Source:
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Positivist critique for lifestyle posting

Allow me to begin this letter by first addressing the hesitancy I have in beginning a sentence with the word “I.”

The idea is not nascent, but rather actively created by voices from real life bodies, that have demonstrated a continual campaign against the use of the word, “I.” What a moralistic and seemingly grand gesture to remove the “I” or oneself, for the notion of a self has become aggrandised through the cultural proliferation of personal blogging and lifestyle posts. This “I” is not to become confused in a tangle with notions of identity. The issue at hand here is not what defines and confines a concept of an identity, but that the “I” both symbolises and makes actual the inhabited position of being alive in a body.

The Institution, of precisely Contemporary Art, shall we say of Contemporaneity, of the International Arts as beneficial to culture production, has shrouded the biographical in all kinds of cast glances and slights of hand. Bells, whistles, halls of mirrors-art has become a non-local site, a paradoxically precious state of flux. This slippery kind of quality, has a taste akin to the bad taste of narcissistic politics. And bad taste here may not be subjective. When bodies of people who sought after a result and came up with what we have here today (and I doubt I need be more precise to reference the current names in the news), we know what something bad tastes like. A politician, or a body stripped of it’s “I” position or biography for the sake of an ideal upheld The Institution, known to some as a Myth of Modern Art, is not a Durian fruit-or Koriander (cilantro) to which some find the taste of feet and others the taste of ecstasy. No, this kind of taste runs through the gut-not the mouth. It’s a sucker punch feeling, one that has psychically infested the minds through propaganda or ideology.

And so, we have ourselves a net of lifestyle blogs, a web full of photos of daily food pics. And they are humanising. They contain within them an “I” quality. And in this position of subjective experience, we can witness the behaviours of individual bodies-for their commonalities in life can be comforting-more over, these practices can Locate the seemingly non-local. Where are these people posting from and to? The media transferred through flashes of electric signals, through wires, towers of boxes in data centres, supplied by energy we hope for as “green,” and yet we know required mining from the earth.

So what is the point of all these posts? What is the point of someone attempting to remove the “I” or have someone question whether or not they are socially appropriate by starting a sentence with and “I”? What is at stake? A complex network of Power and Control-to which what else can be found at stake? So all me, one of the I’s to share with you, the non-monumental event that at this time can be completely subversive. The monumental being found in these personal/non-personal moments shared through social space and time, a food pic. I loved every bite. I chose to make this look this way because it pleases me. And doing such does not make any less of anyone by engaging in these activities. Instead of actively demonise the daily or the “I” can we all get down to the teddy better bits of positively creating life. Be subversive through the biographical. Make a position. Eat the food and photograph it. And if you don’t want to, then don’t. No one makes anyone do anything like this-we hope. And if some subtle ideas have launched into the mind and exorcised your beautifully energetic life, subjective or non, then rid your mind of such internalized powers, and stay true to the values that are within you, that fill life with love, joy, and whatever else that makes things feel real for you.

What is the matter of sharing this message to you? because if you are reading this word “you” then you see “I” and “you” and “I” are sharing this common ground for a blink of time. Thank you.

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Books list / Bøkå lister

In an attempt to share the inputs which have facilitated a verbal learning of the subjects of my work, please find a list of books I have read. These pages I found of additional value in terms of creating and navigating life. There are many more enjoyable books read for pleasure. While pleasure certainly holds a high value in life, there are some things which I reserve for my personal, and not shared, experience. This list works as a rock tossed in the pond-perhaps a small drop which may send waves of ripples outward. Please note, I’ll be updating these books with links which kickback a small amount from being referred to the site where you’re guided to purchase. And for those who do not like to read, I’ve started to record book readings on Vimeo. Please share your donations which facilitate my continuing to sharing the process of my work.  Thanks for your care and contribution.

Title, Author
The Eternal Moment, Estelle Jussim
The Laugh of Medusa, Helene Cixous
Selected Cronicas, Clarice Lispector
Formless: A User’s Guide, Yve-alain Bois and Rosalind E. Krauss
The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis, Lydia Davis
Anti-Oedipus: Captialism and Schizophrenia, Gilles Deleuze
Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison, Michel Foucault
The Art of the Personal Essay: An Anthology from the Classical Era to the Present, Phillip Lopate
Power/Knowledge: Selected Interviews and Other Writings 1972-77, Michel Foucault
Madness and Civilization: A History of Insantiy in the Age of Reason, Michel Foucault
Hegel’s Phenomenology of Spirit: A Commentary Based on the Preface and Introduction, Werner Marx
Subculture: The Meaning of Style, Richard Dick Hebdige
The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an AGe of Anxiety, Alan A. Watts
Dialectic of Enlightenment: Philosophical Fragments, Theodor W. Adorno
Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda
The Society of the Spectacle, Guy Debord
Illuminations: Essays and Reflections, Walter Benjamin
Gender Trouble, Judith Butler
Mythologies, Roland Barthes
Social Psychology, Saul Kassin
C.G. Jun and Hermann Hesse: A Book of Two Friendships, Miguel Serrano
A Short Course in Photography: An Introduction to Black and White Photographic Technique, Barbara London
Between Heaven and Earth: A Guide to Chinese Medicine, Harriet Beinfield
Siddhartha, Herman Hesse
Photography: A Cultural History, Mary Warner Marien
On Being Blue, William H. Gass
Through Another Lens: My Years with Edward Weston, Charis Wilson
Tao Te Ching, Lao Tsu
The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
The Key Muscles of Hatha Yoga, Ray Long
Scientific Keys: The Key Muscles of Hatha Yoga, Ray Long
Yoga for Transformation: Ancient Teachings and Practices for Healing the Body, Mind, and Heart, Gary Kraftsow
Classic Essays on Photography, Alan Trachtenberg
The Four Agreements, A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, Miguel Ruiz
Science of Breath, Swami Rama
The Crack in the Cosmis Egg: New Constructs of Mind and Reality, Joseph Chilton Pearce
The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Daybooks of Edward Weston, Two Volumes in One: I. Mexico II. California, Edward Weston
I Ching: Book of Changes, Anonymous
The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy, Viktor E. Frankl
Art and Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking, David Bayles
Awareness Through Movement: Easy-to-do Health Exercises to Improve Your Posture, Vision, Imagination, Personal Awareness, Moshe Feldenkrais
The Columbia Dictionary of Modern Literary and Cutlural Criticism, Joseph W. Childers
Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Paralle Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension
Meditations in and Emergency, Frank O’Hara
On Photography, Susan Sontag
Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography, Roland Barthes
Manufactured Landscapes: The Photographs of Edward Burtynsky, Lori Pauli
Picinic Lightening, Billy Collins
Originality and the Avant-Garde and OIther Modernist Myths, Rosalind E. Krauss
A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L’Engle
Women: Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Women Archetype, Clarissa Pinkoal Estes
Yoga Anatomy, Leslie Kaminoff
Critique of Pure Reason, Immanuel Kant
The Art of Happiness at Work, Dalai Lama XIV
The Anti-Aesthetic: Essays on Postmodern Culture, Hal Foster
The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
The End of Mr. Y, Scarlett Thomas
On the Road, Jack Kerouac
The Holographic Universe, Michael Talbot
A Nietzsche Reader, Friedrich Nietzsche
Art and Culture: Critical Essays, Clement Greenberg
The Work of Art in the Age of Its Technological Reproducibility, and Other Writings on Media, Walter Benjamin
Ways of Seeing, John Berger
The Book of Questions, Pablo Neruda
A Field Guide to Getting Lost, Rebecca Solnit
A Guide for the Perplexed, Ernst F. Schumacher
The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
Franny and Zooey, J.D. Salinger
Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl
Wolfgang Tilmans: View from Above, Zdnek Felix
This is Your Brain on Joy: How the New Science of Happiness Can Help You Feel Good and Be Happy, Earl Henslin
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
The Painted Word, Tom Wolfe
The Birth of Tragedy/The Case of Wagner, Friedrich Nietzsche
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, Aimee Bender
The Death of the Author, Roland Barthes
Why Your Five Year Old Could Not Have Done That: Modern Art Explained, Susie Hodge
Manifesting Minds, A Review of Psychedelics in Science, Medicine, Sex, and Spirituality, Rick Doblin
What is an Author, Michel Foucault
The Flat Rabbit, Barour Oskarsson
Love Thyself, The Message from Water III Maseru Emoto
Hold Still,  Sally Mann
The Turning Point, Fritjof Capra
Fear and Trembling, Repetition, Søren Kirkegaard
The Alchemy of Air, Thomas Hager
Utopia Is Creepy, Nicholas Carr
The Glass Cage, Nicholas Carr
Mathematics and Art, Exploiring the Invisible Art Science Spiritual, Dreams 1900-2000, Madness in America, Lynn Grimwell
Many life many masters, Weiss
The Fung Shui Handbook: How to Create a Healthier Living & Working Environment, Lam Kam Chuen

How to Love, Thich Nhat Hanh

The Disappearance of the Universe, Gary R Reward
The Red Book, Liber Novus by CG Jung

Watermark Documentary,

The Mayan Prophecies, Gilbert & Cotterell
The World Cataclysm, Patrick Geryl
The Photographers Eye, Szarkowski
On Photography, Susan Sontag
Mythologies, Roland Barthes
Camera Lucida, Roland Barthes
Something About Photography Theory, Victor Burgin
Burning With Desire: The Conception of Photography, Geoffrey Batchen
Classic Essays on Photography, Alan Trachtenberg
The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction, Walter Benjamin
The Originality of the Avante-Garde and Other Modernist Myths, Rosalind Krauss
Selected Writings, Volume II, Walter Benjamin
Image, Music, Text, Roland Barthes/Stephen Heath
The Context of Meaning, Richard Bolton
Before Photography, Peter Galassi
Photography Against the Grain: Essays and Photo Works 1, Allan Sekula
The Book of Floating, Michael Hutchinson
Sensitive Chaos, Theodore Schwenk
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Haiku på norsk

For a year, I wrote by hand on paper, a haiku-a-day. Then I translated the haikus to Norwegian, using Google Translate. Of course, these translations are not accurate and likely make little to no sense at all. This was part of the fun, in that sometimes a bad translation can be funny. Sometimes it can also be considered rude (beklager), but I also underwent this project to expand my sense of humor. I was just coming out of graduate school, and had more than my fill of serious theories. Plus, I am always looking for more reasons to laugh. I don’t enjoy frustration at all, so if I can transform a frustration into something so ridiculous I can laugh, then I am glad for this. Also, translating from English to Norwegian breaks the rules of the haiku, no longer making the words a haiku. This rule breaking being of a micro and utterly benign transgression-also something to laugh about. I’ve observed people breaking rules of the sake of breaking rules where harm can be done-but sometimes taking a course a little bit off path, that’s utterly safe, is just as much fun without the risk.

The idea to do this haiku project started with a desire to learn Norwegian; not because I had to since so many people speak English in Norway, but because I wanted to because my husband and his family’s native language is Norwegian-and I want to be a part of this new part of my family. Plus, I have always wanted to learn a new language.

The classes didn’t go so well for me, where I was confronted with dyslexia. I never noticed this when I was learning English, but in a formal classroom setting, I kept catching myself writing the letters out of order, and because the grammar is different, writing words out of order. Over several months, I became frustrated and surely doubtful I would ever speak Norwegian. Add to this, I was in school again after an incredibly arduous two-years in graduate school. Though I maintain nascent desires of taking to deeper study of Embodied Cognition or Cultural Studies, my brain was at max capacity, multiplied by confusion.

After taking some months off, a funny thing began to happen. I was starting to think of replies in Norwegian. It felt funny and then fun, even when people were speaking English to me, I had this new inner voice på norsk. I have read about latency and and became interested in understanding latency in learning through studying photography-in that the latent image shares some resemblance to how the human body imprints memories within it’s nervous system. This project has been the first time I was aware of this latency on a practical level. And I found this latency to be a great ‘aha’ in that when people talk about having faith that things are working themselves out, I was always skeptical. What is this thing people call “faith”? I have too many religious connotations to the word, and being a skeptic and not religious myself, preferred to banish such a word from my vocabulary. But now I realize faith as a part of the creating process. In that if I want to learn something, I can put a lot of effort into it, and whether I believe it will work or not, over time, through latency, I will eventually learn.

Such experiences reinforce the tendency I have to never give up on something I really care for. So in this year of writing haiku, failing at learning, then realizing I have learned, I’ve also had to learn to take it a lot easier on myself. As my husband always is volunteering to remind me I get caught up on details too easily, I have to learn to unwind a bit and practice more of the flow I attempt to create with my artwork-save the strenuous attention to detail for things like….well, I don’t know, perhaps beaucratic paperwork. But even then, all of this haiku project, struggled learning and past years have had me come to face myself in the mirror and let my shoulders relax even more. To gå sake.

Exhibition Note: This haiku project I envision as an interactive exhibition, where people can write-in their haikus in their language, and people can translate them as part of playing/learning new cultures. I would like to see a world where things are not all in English, but rather where different languages and cultures can be celebrated for and tolerated in their differences.

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