Life has seemed to expand with options. A conscious act of choice remaining a treasure with which we are free to exercise. A real treasure lurking amidst the buying, consuming, working, system which we are implicated by and participating with. No matter how far from one goes with self-made comforts, for example in gardening and creating electricity, people remain with, among, between, around, and with a system present in our world-capitalism. The choices from which we are aware we able to choose from may not be entirely pleasing. Invention of choice may be feasible, not possible or beyond the limits of imagination. And this realm beyond imagination has drawn my most consistent interest.
I have made my inhabited body sick on attempting to process Marx or debating merits and compromises of variants of a fiat based economy. Literally sick. Exhausted. Malnourished. Confused. Incoherent. Lost from myself and connections with the world. Reading and attempting to digest Kant, Lacan, Derrida, Jacobson, Saurssere, Strauss, all the way to Aristotle and Plato. The thing is, while the (translated) words have brought me to more mental understandings and misunderstandings, allowing me to articulate within the English language differences, ideas and concepts, none such activities have brought me what I seek in life. It was a headstrong attempt to impose ideas into reality, instead of working directly with what can be considered the is of my reality. The senses that my body feels, the ways in which is speaks to me, and the ideas that rise from the body as colours, forms and images.
What I continue to circle around and arrive toward is that knowing does not necessarily lead toward progress or greatness but rather lends itself to nuances in discernment. And so I am curious now from a continual cognitive refinement, are there greater freedoms in choice. In my Norwegian language course, the teacher explained (in norsk) that knowledge becomes possibility. How exciting! And yet we are all quite familiar that not all ideas work out well in reality. Knowing has grown a kinship with material accomplishments, a conflated contextualization in size and scale of living arrangements, closets, cars, and bodies. The bigger the stuff, the smaller the body-the or as the continually projected images impose. We could take these images down-but they remain. We could make new images, and many are, but they remain an outlier, a subgroup, an alternative image, even if in reality that image is not alternative but equally as valid and within the realms of existence as the proposed idealistic image may or may not actually be. The efforts to change a project or system rarely work out well. Our bodies are all quite familiar with what idealism and shout’s feel like. My mind conjures images of chains or straight jackets. I don’t know what these feel like, but I do know what feeling like someone has turned the mute button on me when I feel I am saying something important. This kind of diminuization of uncomfortable issues shows the kind of preoccupation minds have grown acculturated to, something so far outside of themselves, that a simple insistence on remaining within the body feels so foreign it becomes entirely avoided. Any of my personally perceived and witnessed injustices are not singular as my body. My reality is not mine alone. My subjectivity is neither special or unique, and neither are these experiences universal, but perhaps an underlying theme can be carried from one stream of thoughts to the other, without contaminating the water. So I will demonstrate through a few though thought fallacies, an image, and a diagram.
Thought fallacy 1: I have no room for these clothes. I need a bigger closet.
Jumping to conclusions. Such an act tends to happen when the body feels excited. The physical and mental energies are not directed. The body can feel excited in a situation of defense. And often bodies are in defense mode when they feel threatened. And its not the bodies themselves are threatened my imminent danger, its the images, thoughts, and uncritical following of sensory impulses that leads the mind to a state where it believes something real and imminently harmful could transpire at any moment. Living this way is exhausting, and we have an enormous anti-aging product line to prove it. One thing your body will never do is lie to you.
Thought fallacy 2: I have nothing to wear. I have to shop more.
Unlimited supply. Such an act of belief may have origins in the principles in nature, which renews herself. The difference between nature and people today is that nature may occasion through a fit, have a meltdown, put a freeze on things, and people tend to like consistency, sameness. It’s easier to do a million things when there aren’t new conditions to adapt to. Are the million things worth doing? That’s up to the individual to determine based on their values.
Thought fallacy 3: I have a lot of money. I am valuable.
Pushme-pullyu or wanting it both ways. The direct translation of real value to monetary through the exchange of currency and commodity has more. And the thing that tends to happen when nothing flows, flow gets caught-up, stuck-up, jammed-up, things stall and when things stall, they become stagnant and often foul. This function of flow and when flow gets plugged up in both ends tends to create all kinds of stuff that doesn’t make sense, like drawing thoughts or ideas from one represented thing toward having a specific meaning. In this case, money being a representation of a thing (value) toward the meaning (subjective and interpretative).
A visual representation. Which of these items have the greatest value? What measures are you using to determine value? Is it the amount of care or time put into the formation of the garment? Is it the origin or the source of the garment? or the ease of its production? Can you tell the difference between the items made by hand or bought in a boutique that were made in China? Which items were quite expensive to purchase or produce? And which will last the longest? We see tags celebrating origins and fair treatment of labor, and yet who is determining fair? When we can know for ourselves we often wouldn’t want to choose to sit and work for 10hours a day for barely enough to eat on. Not a thought as an exercise in self inflicted guilt, but rather as a humbling getting into the sense of the body and witnessing impulses and thoughts when they seem to make sense up in there (the head) and yet don’t quite settle right in the body. Who is going to put this amount of thought into the contents of their choices? Perhaps not many, but I maintain faith in human beings. That beauty is able to be found in even the subtlest of places, and such stirrings generate impulses which set forth a train of thought that lands not in fallacy and myth, but in the body and that which rises from such senses.
And finally, the diagram which circles back to the first paragraph of this post. A concise explanation as to the formation of the alternative choices admits the system that seemingly dominates and imposes itself -conflation of value through the trade of commodity. The newly formed or reformed alternative attempted to solve what was perceived as a problem. What was the problem? An experience of lack or a larger social groups unwillingness to work toward what they want. Not what the people are visually or linguistically informed to want through the impulses which have grown quite familiar (social media, media, news, magazines, newspapers, movies) The problem was something to do with capitalism existing, the problems capitalism seems to produce. When it is not a force enacted by itself, it is not an agent working on its own. It is a collective series of choices. And so it exists and cannot be changed. Things tend to endure lasting change when they are influenced by ancillary (not direct) forces.
As waves in the ocean form the coastlines. We have come to know direct alteration to such coasts such as digging is temporary and always changing, while nature itself is always working on forming the coast exactly as it wants it be. The wave, not as the origin of the force, but the wave formed from the magnetics and impulses from within the earth, constellated through the interaction with other cosmic elements in space. And this kind of formation and living in tune with the flow of nature, sometimes difficult, disgusting, brutal, and often quite beautiful, abundant and kind, has taught me more about what stirs within and grows from the life running throughout the body as always directly connected to all in nature, than attempting to impose an ideal image, conflated meaning, or constructed value from the outside-in approach. And a phrase that floats up to me again and again throughout my life-where the mind ends, healing can begin. And what healing do people seek today? Some say it is spiritual, and I understand this as bodily. The bodies want excellent health. The bodies want expanded capability. And these bodies are forever in tune with and shall return to earth. (while some perhaps wish to become cosmic star dust. Someone might be working on that business model, rocking ashes into outer space already).